Marriage is holy, but marriage does not mean tolerating abuse. A healthy marriage should have love, honour, truth, safety and mutual respect.
Abuses Not to Tolerate in Marriage
- Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, pushing, throwing objects or causing bodily harm.
- Emotional and verbal abuse: Constant insults, humiliation, threats, intimidation, name-calling or deliberately destroying your sense of worth.
- Sexual abuse: Forcing sexual activity, ignoring consent, using sex as punishment or coercion, or any sexual act against your will.
- Financial abuse: Controlling all access to money, taking your income without agreement, preventing you from working, or deliberately leaving you without basic necessities.
- Spiritual abuse: Using God, Scripture, prayer, prophecy or church authority to control, frighten, silence or manipulate a spouse.
- Controlling behaviour: Isolating you from family and friends, monitoring everything you do, controlling your movements or using threats to make you obey.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Accepting Abuse
As Christians, we are called to forgive, but forgiveness doesn’t require you to pretend abuse didn’t happen or place yourself in unnecessary danger. Repentance should produce changed behaviour, accountability and a commitment to stop the abuse.
Colossians 3:19 (KJV) says, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Love doesn’t seek to destroy, intimidate or control.
Seek Help
If you are experiencing abuse, don’t suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted and mature person who can help you take safe and wise steps. Where there is immediate danger or serious violence, contact appropriate emergency or domestic-violence support services in your area.
Marriage can be restored in many situations, but restoration must never be used as an excuse to keep someone in danger. Safety, truth, accountability and genuine change matter.
Marriage is holy. Abuse is not.
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